My Gift to You
by fakegodsanddemigods
Summary: Post Journey's End. Rose and Donna have become the best of friends. Rose knows what's happened to her and that her memories have been taken from her. Donna knows that her friend has more information than she's letting on. Rose must make the decision of whether or not to tell Donna the truth.


I can see it all in your eyes. There's so much confusion, so much loss, and so much emptiness. The stars have been snuffed out. I remember seeing the universe in them, so much like His eyes. So much like my John's.

But it's dark now. I can hear you pleading with me. I can hear you begging. You're so aware that I know more than I'm saying.

I'm scared, Donna.

I'm so scared.

I needed a friend. A friend who wouldn't remind me of Him every time they spoke. A friend who wouldn't constantly ask me about Him or why I chose a life without Him. And you don't. You're everything I need. You're exactly the sort of friend who I can keep close. The sort of friend who I don't have to fake a smile with.

But you look so sad. So distant. You're so far from the Donna I've always know. The most important woman in the whole of the universe. You've lost your spunk. There's no attitude, no rude back and forths that I enjoyed more than I ever could have told you. There's just a shell with some left over Donna Noble.

I'm scared.

You keep asking me for the truth. You keep wanting to know what happened and where your memories are. But I'm so scared to tell you. I know what happens if I tell you and I know you'd be happier that way. But I don't want you to die disappointed in me. Because I let you down, Donna.

I let you down.

But you're my best mate. And I can't keep lying to you. I can't just keep bringing you coffee and smiling and pretending those images are just dreams or that it's only just post-traumatic stress from losing Lance. I can't do it anymore.

So, I won't tell you that Lance died in an accident. A completely natural accident of the sort that happens every day.

I won't tell you that the memories you've lost are because you were so distraught over losing your fiance that you pushed everything to the back of your mind and forced yourself to never remember. Because that's the biggest lie I could ever tell you.

I won't tell you that you're nothing more than a dreamer because you're so much more, Donna. Telling you that you're only a dreamer is a disservice to you and everyone you've helped for the better.

So, no.

I won't lie to you. I can't anymore.

I'll tell you about the Doctor and how you appeared in the TARDIS in a wedding dress and yelled at him until he took you home. And that's where Lance came in. You were engaged. It was your wedding day. But he was prepping you for some sort of alien sacrifice and that's really all I know.

I'll tell you about the ship that looks like a blue police box but it's so much bigger on the inside when you open the doors. There are so many rooms and the potential for so many more. There are wardrobes on every hall and it makes the most wonderful sound. A sound you never really forget. I'm sure you hear it in your dreams. But you shouldn't worry. Because it means someone's watching out for you.

I'll tell you about all of the adventures you had and all of the planets you got to see and the people you got to save. I'll tell you about Pompeii and how you showed mercy when the laws of time were against you. I'll tell you all about it, Donna. I promise you.

I'll tell you all about the Doctor, the most brilliant man the universe has ever seen. You'll know just how much you meant to him and that he took your memories because he cared and couldn't deal with seeing you die. He couldn't watch you burn from the inside out. He cared too much.

And I'll tell you about the time I failed you. I sent you back in time to fix a change that had been made. I told you that you'd survive. Well, I let you believe that you'd survive. And I didn't even hold your hand while you were laying on the pavement. I didn't comfort you. I didn't try. I just told you two words and walked away.

This time I won't go anywhere.

I promise I won't go anywhere.

I can see it hurt. I can see the fire burning in your mind. But your eyes. Oh, Donna, the stars are lighting up. You remember. I know you remember. It's all coming back to you. And I'll stay right here. I'll hold your hand through it all. You can tell me about everything you see. Everything you remember. I'll listen to those wonderful stories.

I'll stay with you to the end.

I'm so scared.

I'll miss you.


End file.
